Love towards brethren is also different because sometimes we do not chose brothers; especially those who claim to be adherents of a spiritual path!
Love is not always a pleasant experience as one of the most damaging things that occurs to someone is unrequited love. This can be so difficult for the one in love because the object of their devotion may feel little or nothing of their own feelings. Posing the painful question how can someone I love, not love me back?
Love does not last in a relationship as sooner or later it runs out and what really lasts is friendship. A common adage that some mothers say to their daughters is marry your best friend which is something worth pondering about.
Some men are looking for the untouched beauty that will drop out of the sky into their lap on a sunny day. Some women are waiting for their knight in shining armour to come and rescue them from a life of celibacy. Okay you were both dreaming and this ain’t going to happen you’ll have to accept that your partner has flaws as you yourself have flaws.
It does not work that way, marriage is about hard work it’s not as simple as it seems. People look for different things in marriage; men have desire to copulate and women desire security. So at times both want separate things but the union of the sexes fulfils both needs.
Beauty is something that cannot be defined in people. As some people do not have obvious beauty and others do. You may see someone who looks attractive but they might be repulsive to someone else and yet someone who is not attractive on the outside may be attractive in terms of their character. Some people can become arrogant because of this and see others as lower than themselves. How beautiful am I and how ugly you are!
Some people who are not beautiful at first sight can at times become more beautiful as the days go by. This type of beauty is something very strange and does not happen often. When we look for a partner are we looking beyond the physical but males often do not. If you are female you might be looking his bank balance. These are unfortunate facts of life and just because someone is religious does not mean they look beyond this.
Beauty can make a fool out of you because you are chasing something that is not yours to own and even if you get it, it won’t last. Will you still love them when they are not as beautiful as they once were? You see because of this outward attachment to beauty men look for and women seek to fulfil it. It is not uncommon for a woman to beautify herself. This is part of their natures yet as Muslims there are lines draw for us to follow. Men like to look at foreign women and some women enjoy the attention and many do not. Many of us are attached to outward beauty in this life.
As Muslims we know beauty has different forms as we know that the most beautiful human being was Muhammad (may Allah bestow peace and blessings upon him). There is no human being described in such detail as he was. His beauty was immense and overwhelming yet it was almost inaccessible to some people as those who described him were mostly children not adults.
To many Muslims loving the Prophet (may Allah bestow peace and blessings upon him) is the only subject yet this is at the neglect of many other important subjects. So you won’t find it uncommon that men love another, but in this case this is more than just a man, He is the best of creation.
Emotions do not last and sooner or later run out. The beauty of someone goes as ages come to them and the love goes as the sands of time drain away. So be careful what you look for in a partner as making the wrong decision could cost you dearly.
Yet because we are all looking for something to cherish know things that disappear with time are not worth cherishing. Only Allah (the Exalted) is everlasting and that is who we should love. The greatest pleasure of paradise is gazing at Allah (the Exalted) this is greater than anything we could ever experience. Loving what Allah (the Exalted) made obligatory makes your life easy.
If you look at the Masjids across the Islamic world there is one common denominator, beauty. From the shores of Morocco to the heart land of Medina; beauty is something that is part of the aesthetic of every masjid in the world. We love beauty because it’s part of our being, whoever we are. Yet in these modern times we have been brainwashed into thinking there is one type of beauty and anything else is ugliness. It does not work like this and beauty can be found in many people and in so many things.
All you have to do is look and you’ll surprise yourself...